So I posted my crapples (crappy apples) and will be posting more art studies tonight. I had originally put them in scraps but moved them to finished pieces. I want them to be more accessible to me and others because I want to see my improvement and if possible. I would like critiques on them.

In July I decided I want to become a concept artist. For many years I would come back on here, say oh I'll have more coming soon but I didn't know how to budget my time or life to accommodate new things. Fact of the matter is I didn't want it enough. But now, now things have changed. I guess I'm using this as a bit of a place to vent though god only knows why. I say life was hectic and it seemed like the time slipped away, but truth is I wasted a lot of it. Didn't try as hard as I could at the job I have, didn't try enough to hang out with friends, didn't push forward with my art. I played a lot of video games and didn't accomplish too much with myself.

Then I moved out, living with a boy and having a lot of fun with that. But he bought the house and there were tons of things needing to be done and repaired. And with living with a guy you basically get another family which gobbles up a lot of your time too. Then there's work which eats most of your daytime hours. Then there is the evening so tired, didn't have the energy to do any of the things I needed to - like working out, moving forward with my life, anything like that. I got into a rut. I had depression. And the pills didn't help. It was actually just as I was driving home from work one day and stuck in a lot of traffic I realized things needed to change. And it wasn't one of those "it'll change later" things. It was a firm decision things needed to change.

At that moment I decided to stop playing it safe and wanted to pursue my dreams. My dreams may not pay as well, they may not be super glamorous. But I'd rather spend the rest of my life working jobs I am happy in and pushing my life to a place I am happy in then taking the easy road. I don't want to wake up and be 50 and realize that I didn't accomplish anything or take any risks in my life. That same day I found out Ubisoft is opening up a studio in Toronto. So now not only is my dream in my mind ITS POSSIBLE.

So... after my long winded little rant here. I'm pretty stoked. And I realized that my depression had really been holding me back. I'm ready to move forward with my life and lose the weight and get better at drawing. I want to have fun, experience life. And it's more than just these things, but these are huge parts. I'm done getting home and vegging out. I'm done making excuses of why I didn't have time. And I'm GOING to do the things I want to do with my life.